I had a dream last night. Dressed in a pristinely white wedding dress, I was making myself busy about my house, cleaning. I was expecting and preparing for guests who were to witness my marriage to my husband. As I worked, I nonchalantly glanced out of the window from a second floor. I was surprised to find people were running about in what seemed like the streets below, or perhaps a courtyard. Suddenly (as is apropos for dreams), locations shifted. I was not in my home any longer. It was as if I was in the second storey of a school. Wondering what all of the panic was about, I questioned people about what was happening. People were running in every direction, yelling that danger was approaching. From the look on their faces, while still not knowing the source of this mayhem, I seemed to personally register that it must be a gunman.
Quickly, I looked to my children (who became present in the scene) and I said, “Hurry! Let’s look for a furnace room! We can hide in there! There are so many classes, no one will think to look for people there.” However, as I opened every door that would allow us exit from the room, I discovered that it was a closet stacked high with tables and chairs. There was no place to escape or hide from the fast approaching threat.
Within moments, Evil incarnate entered the room we were in, looking like a regular young man, but with colourless, pale, almost charcoal skin and hate in it’s eyes. With nowhere to run, and not knowing what else to do, I turned to face Evil. With my hands at my side, I closed my eyes tightly and with all of my might I began to sing in spiritual tongues. Periodically, I opened my eyes. Evil stayed in it’s place, mocking and accusing, except no matter what Evil said, I sang louder, drowning out Evil’s voice.
Evil only had a voice. It had no power. It could not touch me. In fact, as I sang in a spiritual tongue for what seemed like hours, I finally transitioned to worshipping Jesus in English. I noticed, then, that I was still stationed upright, facing Evil, with my arms at my side, and wearing my pure white dress for marriage. My children, and now others, were all in the room. Some were sitting! As I transitioned into English, all of these relaxed looking bystanders began joining me in worship in song to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, in one accord.
Later (Evil must have fled and I was alone), I was moving about in the streets. I was trying to hide behind cars and get away, but as I did, Evil always came up to where I was and found me. Each time I was terrified, but as Evil approached, I stood at attention and sang in tongues in worship. Each time I sang loudly, with my arms at my side, my eyes squeezed shut and focussed on Jesus, still clad in my beautiful wedding gown. Evil could not break through my worship.
The last scene took place as I was passing through some sort of dark and grungy, shady casino. Evil was busy gambling and when I walked by, he was enticed by me. He turned to me, and expressed how much he coveted the impressive power I had. He invited me to join him so he could have access to it. Instead, I gently leaned over into a satchel he had sitting beside him, and reached in, pulling out all kinds of glorious jewels- sapphires, rubies, diamonds, all sparkling so majestically- and I walked on by myself, jewels in possession.
Then I woke up.
As I lay in bed, groggy, in that passage place from dream world to real world, I mulled over my dream. As I slowly awoke, I began praying. God gave me an interpretation to my dream.
First, what you must know is that I have been struggling for over a month now, more intensely in the last couple of weeks. I have spent a lot of time feeling attacked in my mind and emotions. I have spent hours crying, sometimes daily. I have spent time feeling discouraged, and weary of enduring. I have spent a lot of time sharing my heart with the Lord, and being angry for things not working out the way I thought they would based on the faith that I (thought) I had in God about particular things. I have wondered if He is a God of Promises, Faithfulness and Goodness because I haven’t seen His promises being fulfilled in my life and the life of my family in the particular stresses and tensions that we have been struggling in, and seeking God for deliverance of, for literally years now.
Second, you need to know that my ‘normal’ doesn’t include struggling with depression. I tend to be an optimistic, full of hope, faith-filled woman of God with excitement and enthusiasm about life and living for Christ. While I have my down days like everyone else, I usually bounce back rather quick. This is not me parading proudly. It’s just how God has made me, even though I walk hand in hand with many in my close circle who wax weakly and wearily in this area. This stint of despair that I have felt has been long and painful for me since it’s particularly foreign to me. I have continued to talk to God, read my bible, and enter into worship, but there has been a deep mourning in my heart that I haven’t known how to lift on my own. I have told the Lord that I have lost my hope, that I have no more waiting left in me, and that I no longer fit the description of ‘woman of faith’. I have told my Lord, that if He wanted me to be a woman like that, then He was going to have to resurrect it in me because I am simply empty, distraught, and exhausted.
Hallelujah! God is a God of communion and communication! He hears and He answers.
Here’s what He told me my dream means:
I am covered by the blood of Lamb; wearing His robes of righteousness. I am part of His pure spotless Bride. While the Enemy may be attacking as I ready myself for God and go about the business He has for me to accomplish, I don’t have to worry about having enough strength to fight. I don’t have to be a strong woman of faith, or hope. I don’t have to search for a place to hide in hysteria. What I do have to do? (It’s so simple!!) I just have to be the Jesus-Worshipper I already am. The Enemy’s venemous words fall on deaf ears for the one who is too busy focussing on Jesus with all of their might. In the process, there is a drowning out and an active making ineffective the voice of the Enemy when we worship.
My hands were at my sides because there was no power in fighting with them. I felt like I was cornered, left vulnerable and unprotected. I felt like I had no other choice, and was at a loss of what to do to defend myself from Evil, but because my heart belongs to Jesus, I essentially know Who my Safe Place is, and I can press in closer to Him in worship any time I feel like I’m being overwhelmed by the Enemy. The power is in worshipping the One with all of the power.
As I worship boldly and loudly, those who don’t want to hear it will fall to the wayside. I don’t have to concern myself with getting it wrong, or coming on too strong for unbelievers because while some will close their ears and turn their heads, others are watching and listening intently (like my children). As a result of choosing worship as my weapon of defence choice, onlookers are learning, gleaning and being grafted in because they are witnessing a power greater than that in the world through my bold and steadfast action of worship.
The jewels? Well, firstly, in my adult lifetime, God has spoken many powerful, beautiful, and incredible words over me about being precious in His sight; about being His Gem. Hence, my blog title. I believe this part of my dream, though, means this: Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but our inheritance in Christ is taking back all that Satan thinks He has won over, or brags that he is gaining. We do that because, and through, the power of Jesus’ sacrifice and victory on the cross. I don’t have to dance with the Devil to repossess what He has taken. Because the same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in me, I can reach right over into his bag of jewels and take back what is mine in Christ and walk away. Jewels don’t belong to Satan. Jewels belong to Jesus. Since I am a child of God, all that belongs to Him is my inheritance.
I just get so charged thinking about how God speaks so clearly to us, especially since I, personally, can be so daft at times. I love the fact that God chooses to speak to us, period! I can never wrap my mind around that truth. It’s fascinating and awe inspiring that Big God (All God) chooses to speak to Little Me (Nothing Me). I just want to worship Him for that alone! My heart is so thankful!!
The interesting thing is that God has been leading me for days now, up to this dream, and He’s been helping me to connect the Dot to Dots of the whole picture He has drawn. On Saturday, God led me to Isaiah 54:10-17 in my quiet time with Him. On Sunday a sweet sister in Christ prayed over me and told me I didn’t have to worry about trying to conjure up enough strength to be who I was supposed to be in Christ- that I just had to choose to worship. Last night, sweet family in Christ spoke Psalm 46 over me during a prayer time. Everything links so perfectly. And guess what? Somehow miraculously, I feel like I’ve made it through to the other side of this dark haze I’ve been walking through. It rained hard all night long, and this morning the sun is shining brightly and the skies are blue. Feels so symbolic of my spiritual state. I feel like I’m myself again, strong in Him because He has provided the strength. His Voice inspires and builds up. Oh! How grateful I am that I can hear Him! How grateful I am that He has lifted me up out of the ashes of mourning and has outfitted me with dancing clothes of joy once again. Praise you Jesus!
Note that nothing in my circumstances has changed. It’s always Jesus’ precious presence that makes all of the difference to every instance. When God speaks to me, I feel like a million bucks. I am empowered. I feel like I can go anywhere, be anything, and do anything in Him. So what if the Enemy is drawing near?!! God has made me a Worshipper, and as I worship, nothing can touch me, and everything else truly fades away. So, off I go. It’s time to crank up the volume and let ‘er rip! It is well with my soul.
P.S. If you didn’t already, go back and click on the link for those scriptures, especially the Isaiah reference. You’ll be so giddy seeing and making all of the connections! I am!
